i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize