he thought i was a dude.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
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