I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
