Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize
