Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize
