Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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