Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize