is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
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