thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
