I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
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