I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize