Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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