I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Randomize
