How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
