I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
