so that wasnt chicken after all
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Randomize