We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize