Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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