Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
