ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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