areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
