well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Randomize
