youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize