now i know why i became what i already was.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
They have beer where we have blood.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
