I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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