God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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