I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Randomize
