I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize