How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Randomize
