I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
