I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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