I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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