Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize