I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
Randomize
