from now on my penis is your penis
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Randomize
