Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize