Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
