Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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