I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize