i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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