Your tits are I can't wait for
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize