Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
