and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
My new dentist just kinda stared at me when I told him that I used to have partial dentures after breaking 2 teeth while beating the shit out of someone, until I puked them into the toilet and flushed them after getting high and making myself undercooked mac and cheese.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
