If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
