thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
