Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Randomize
