Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
