Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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