everyone is single if you try hard enough
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
