He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
