I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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