So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
i believe in u and ur pee
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
