you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Randomize
