We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
