i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
