i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize