Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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