I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
