He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
how do you play pong handcuffed?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
