She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
