you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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