so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
Randomize
